how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
