Whats the glycemic index on semen?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Randomize
