Kareoke will never be a sober sport
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Randomize
