well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Randomize