Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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