WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
