I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I FOUND THE LEGS
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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