Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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