Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
