I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
