I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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