When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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