I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I have feelings that need drinking.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
