Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
