I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize