i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
