Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
