Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
