There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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