i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Is it because I queefed?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
