Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
