hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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