my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
