no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
