No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
