She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
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