I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
