using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
