New invention idea: vibrating tampons
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
