Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
