OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
