Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
not ubering you a puppy
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
