so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
