I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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