Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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