some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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