Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize