I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
