If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
