At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize