Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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