Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
