You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
