There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Well I just put wine in my tea
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
