i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
