Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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