I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
