Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
