I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
