The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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