the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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