already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
