oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize