i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
