hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
