So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
