I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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