so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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