She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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