Sry I called you an 8
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
