She's JV to your varsity
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
